


Glad to See You're Not Dead, Then (Now What?)

by Zaniida



Series: Open Chapterfics (MCU) [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adjusting, Captivity, Gen, Pagefic Chapters, Physical Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24741481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida
Summary: When Phil Coulson wakes up in Loki's custody, he's a bit surprised at some of the others who are there to greet him.
Relationships: Phil Coulson & Avengers Team
Series: Open Chapterfics (MCU) [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1490789
Comments: 18
Kudos: 16





	1. Breathe Deep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ysabetwordsmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [Zaniida](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zaniida/pseuds/Zaniida). Log in to view. 



> This was the piece I tried to put together for Phil Coulson Month, which was... [April](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22091149). And the thing that came to mind was a little offshoot of [To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20064502/chapters/47518936), so that's what I went with. This is canon to that tale unless I later determine that it can't be.
> 
> I'm not yet sure if this'll be an [FMI](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1626034) fic -- it started out with that fic form -- but it ought to have five more chapters and perhaps an end chapter as well. One interaction per team member that Phil is closely connected to: Fury, Nat, Clint, Steve, and Pepper. The first chapter doesn't count as one of those interactions; Nat's gonna get a full private moment with Phil eventually.
> 
> This story occurs right after Loki captures Coulson and Nat, after Loki's little group saved Coulson's life and Coulson is finally waking up, somewhat recovered but with some injuries that'll take a little longer to heal. The various warnings applicable to the main story ( _To the Victor, by Consent of the Spoils_ ) do not apply here, and this could be read as a standalone if desired.
> 
>  **Ysabetwordsmith** , I quite enjoyed the parts I read of your [Love Is For Children](https://archiveofourown.org/series/42722) series, and when I was casting about for which person might most enjoy a Coulson-centered tale, you were the one who came to mind the strongest, so here you are! Nothing big or fancy, just a bunch of two-person scenes as Coulson adjusts to his new surroundings. Also, given everything else that's going on, I've no idea how often I might update it (my updates are sporadic at the best of times). Hope you enjoy it =^.^=

Phil wakes to a soft conversation, two female voices washing over him. Decades of training keep him still, his breath slow and steady as he tries to assess.

Mild headache. Sore arm, sore abdomen (bandages? it tugs a little when he breathes). A little hard to focus, a little dizzy. Nothing particularly alarming, but he probably got hurt somehow.

The voices are calm enough, and one of them is Nat’s; probably no immediate danger. The other’s… familiar.

Pepper Potts. Not dead, then. Stark will be relieved.

Except… they were fighting Loki (when are they _not_ fighting Loki?). And Loki’s a shapeshifter and master illusionist who faced Pepper in combat the day she died (or had seemed to die).

Then again, Nat’s not one to be deceived by impersonations, and she’s spent enough time with Pepper to know if something’s off. And she’s not fool enough to let slip her suspicions, so that easy laughter and light-hearted tone might be just for show. Assuming it’s even Nat—Loki can mimic multiple targets at once, so even that much can’t be taken for granted.

Well. Nothing that he can figure out with his eyes closed.

“Don’t sit up,” Nat cautions as soon as Phil stirs. Given the twinge in his gut, he takes that as good advice, and relaxes back into the bed, but turns his head to look at his agent.

His blurry vision resolves into Nat’s deadpan expression… and the slim black collar around her throat.

“Didn’t think you were wearing those in public,” he observes without judgment.

“When in Rome,” she offers casually, her eyes flicking to Pepper’s throat; Pepper’s collar is a soft orange. “How are you feeling?”

“Disoriented,” he admits. “Care to fill me in?”

“You nearly died,” Nat says, with no hint of any reaction to the concept. “Lost a lot of blood. Doc says you might be weak for a while, and we’re, um, we’re waiting to see if there’s any sign of”—her eyebrow twitches—“brain damage.”

It’s the lack of emotion that finally lets him believe it’s really her. Phil has spent decades learning to follow his gut, and Loki, he thinks, would try to inject emotion a little too soon.

“Oh,” Nat adds, casually, “and Loki’s the only reason you’re alive.”

Phil glances around the room. “Are we in his evil lair, then?” he quips. “I thought there’d be more green.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got almost the whole next chapter of _To the Victor_ written, but I'm struggling with getting the voices right. But it's fairly close to being published, if I can just manage that facet of the tale, and finish up the final section. I know where I want/need it to go, it's just the little part in between that I'm having trouble with. I even watched TWS again this morning, just to get the voices back in my head, which was helpful. (And then I tried to hunt down a decent script for TWS and found at least a passable transcript, though I'd much prefer the actual script. Ah well.)
> 
> P.S. Two weeks to Tiny Box Tim Day! I still haven't figured out what to do since I can't pass out burgers and drinks (not with the pandemic still being worrisome), but the whole point is _creativity for charity_ so I'm sure I'll think of something useful.


	2. Reveal Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It feels odd, seeing his boss again after half a year of trying to save him, two years trying to kill him, and two and a half years wondering where the hell he’d gone and whether he was even still alive_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the by, I've found it slightly difficult to keep Loki offscreen for this piece. There are bits where it would make sense for him to be involved, but the focus of this particular side fic is supposed to be entirely on Coulson and his team/allies. Loki shouldn't merit more than an occasional mention, for context.
> 
>  **Content Warnings:** Mild swearing.

While he’s still convalescing, Fury stops by, just long enough to see how he’s doing. It feels odd, seeing his boss again after half a year of trying to save him, two years trying to kill him, and two and a half years wondering where the hell he’d gone and whether he was even still alive.

_(Phil expects to have a similar reaction when he sees Clint, who Nat claims is alive and well and living under Loki’s roof like the rest of them. But he prefers to deal with one thing at a time.)_

When Fury enters the room, Phil plasters on his noncommittal smile and they nod at each other, hold each other’s gaze for a moment. That’s all. They don’t bother with codes, and they’ve never cared for meaningless pleasantries; it’s enough to know that they’re both alive.

A few days later, when he’s finally well enough to join the group for dinner, he gets to see Fury again. They sit across from each other; Fury’s flanked by Clint and Natasha, so that Phil can see all of them without having to twist his still-healing abdomen. Their conversation stays harmless: the meal, their surroundings, Phil’s recovery prospects and the need for physical therapy for his left hand, which is still a bit weak after his near-death experience. Nothing they say is anything Loki could use, if he were even paying attention (which Phil assumes he is).

There are things that Phil would love to tell his former boss. What it’s been like, out there on the front. Maria’s pragmatism, Stark’s ingenuity, Captain America’s surprising adaptability and his courage—up until they’d lost track of him in DC. How often Phil has kept his cool only because of the lessons Fury taught him.

How hard it’s been to pull their forces together without Fury to put a boot up their ass.

But they’re on Loki’s turf now, and Phil can’t trust a word Fury says. Fury was compromised for at least two years, and even if he’s managed to break free—or been released—they know the rules when you’re behind enemy lines. You don’t spill intel that the enemy might use.

Which doesn’t mean they can’t enjoy a little time together. Among other surprising amenities, the gym has a racquetball court, so he and Fury start enjoying regular sessions there. At first, Phil sticks to his uninjured hand, and they take it slow; once Clint is satisfied with his progress, he begins to use his left hand for a few minutes a day, trying not to overdo it.

They spend time in the hot tub, and the steam room. It’s nice; in fact, it’s been so long since Phil was able to relax in company that he starts to relish that silence.

Before too long, of course, Loki heads off to the front again and Fury gets Phil started on the perimeter checks, looking for any little chink in the armor. Because as nice as it might be in here, there are still people dying on the outside, and neither of them is the sort to just sit down and let things sort themselves out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Experiential Intimacy:** Fury and Coulson both know what it's like to have to watch their behavior behind enemy lines. Hope that connection came across well.
> 
> With a little over one week left to go with the [August Intimacy](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/162885.html) event, I'm trying to just put together as many FMI updates as I can -- individual fics or chapter updates, either one -- along with trying to make progress on my main BINGO board fic. I'm adding to the [collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FMI2020) anything that I _start_ this month (if it fits the theme, obviously), but not adding anything I started earlier and merely _added to_ this month.
> 
> No idea if I can swing something special as a "birthday gift to the fandom" like I have in the past few years. Would be nice, but without any plans and without any time it seems unlikely. Maybe this year will have to count the event itself as the gift to the fandom.
> 
> Anyway, off to write some more!


	3. Inhabit Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As Clint helps Phil flex and strengthen his hand, relearning motions that used to be intuitive, Phil’s reminded of times long past, of trying to make sure that the disgruntled teenager took his therapy exercises seriously. (It had taken some persuasion to convince him that resisting therapy meant accepting greater limitations, but that idea was enough to drive him to full recovery and then some.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still feeling the low energy from the end of an event. Hosting August Intimacy was both more and less taxing than I'd expected, and by the end I had managed to post [over 20,000 words](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/166456.html). Which included fifteen new fics published in whole or in part (five MCU, three _Person of Interest_ , five other fandoms, and two pieces of Original Work), along with four updated MCU fics and one POI podfic.
> 
> So yeah, currently creatively exhausted and easily distracted by such things as modding Stardew Valley and working out the biology of Frost Giants (which should eventually work into an upcoming fic). And I want/need to work on Creepyfest stuff well before October arrives (though I have most of two chapters written in _Unseen Things_ , and most of one chapter written for _Before the Norns_ ). But I'd still like to add some more FMI pieces before I call it quits on that section of the year (see End Note).
> 
> Anyway, have some Clint & Coulson!
> 
> (Incidentally, I'm pleased that this chapter happened to mention Clint being disabled (minor but permanent hearing loss). It's a good chance to point out that Allbingo is hosting [I Want Fries With That!](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/166195.html), a Bingo challenge to write characters who are dealing with various disabilities, without making the disabilities the sum total of the character (and some other criteria, basically to flesh them out and make them characters instead of stereotypes or tools).
> 
> This chapter includes two characters interacting who both are disabled (Phil temporarily, Clint permanently -- though also, Phil's hand damage is a nod to him losing a hand in the TV series), but it doesn't meet the Fries Test itself, because Phil's isn't permanent and because the chapter is focused on undoing the disability. But it's good to have some representation nonetheless.)

Clint has been through more than his fair share of physical therapy, which thankfully left him with plenty of techniques to draw from as he helps Phil flex and strengthen his hand, wrist, fingers, relearn motions that used to be intuitive. It’s slow and painful work, but Phil can’t complain; apparently it was all but a miracle that he survived the injuries in the first place.

As he focuses on small, controlled movements, he’s reminded of times long past, when Phil was the one trying to make sure that the disgruntled teenager took his therapy exercises seriously. (It had taken some persuasion to convince him that resisting therapy meant accepting greater limitations, but that idea was enough to drive him to full recovery and then some.)

Or, much later, when Clint had spent two months in a world of silence, waiting on his ruptured eardrums to repair themselves. The young archer had found the limitation almost beyond bearing; true, one didn’t need hearing to be a sniper, but in closer combat Clint used sound to stay aware of nearby enemies and pull trick shots against targets he couldn’t even see.

Unable to hasten his physical recovery, Clint had poured his restless energy into learning to read lips, a skill that proven unexpectedly useful despite Phil’s skepticism. Having 20/2 vision enhanced Clint’s accuracy and speed, letting him notice subtle muscle movements and throat vibrations. _(Nat had enjoyed frustrating him by silently mouthing words, which left out several of his regular cues.)_ Once Clint’s hearing had returned, the skill had compensated for permanent damage, and also let him eavesdrop on any lips he could see, even from yards away.

Phil’s going to have to remember that skill, because despite his affection for his former agent, he can’t trust Clint any more than he can trust Fury. They’ve been under Loki’s thumb since Loki arrived, and they fought directly against Earth’s forces (including their own teammates, lethally) for more than two years. Anyone as tactically skilled as Loki is capable of pulling a long con, and Phil would have to be a much greater fool to let himself forget that.

Gratifyingly, Clint seems content to stay as reticent as Phil remembers him; when they’re not focused on Phil’s injury, they barely exchange words at all. Except for this: One evening, after their session is over, Clint looks off to the side and says, “You kept her safe. Thank you.”

It seems an odd comment; Nat is Phil’s agent, and he would go to great lengths to protect her. But then he recalls that she had been an enemy first, a target, and Clint had defied orders rather than execute her. It’s a stretch to think that SHIELD would dispose of one of its most versatile assets simply because a related asset had been compromised—or wasn’t around to protest. Yet SHIELD has done worse… and Clint has been out of the loop for five years now.

“I wouldn’t let her go,” Phil vows, squeezing Clint’s forearm with his bad hand, the pain like an echo of the promise. “Whatever else, Natasha’s ours. And _we are going to survive this_.”

Clint meets his eyes, then, and covers Phil’s hand with his own, and gives one quick nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'know, I really wish AO3 had some sort of mini-announcement field that'd display on top of an author's list of fics. It'd sure make it easier to inform my readers of what's going on, without tying a lot of outdated messages to old fics and all, and not being sure who's seen/read what (given that I'm trying to maintain two fandoms without all that much overlap).
> 
> But anyway! [August Intimacy](https://allbingo.dreamwidth.org/162885.html) went over well, with [22 works across 17 fandom tags](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FMI2020). I think a dozen of those are mine? And that's just the AO3 Collection -- I also posted several updates that didn't fit the collection, and some people posted on Dreamwidth without making it to AO3 (at least one participant made a Blackout -- 25 prompts spread across several stories).
> 
> (By the by, for those who didn't make the deadline, my [September Stragglers](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FMI2020b) collection is waiting for entries. And I hope to make August Intimacy a regular event.)
> 
> Let's see what all I posted last month:
> 
> Besides this very fic, I updated [Solace on Sakaar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22113643) (Loki & the Valkyrie*) and finished off [Unforeseen Friendship](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18847450) (Loki & the Hulk), as well as updating [Growing Memories](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22051030) (Dark Inversion: Tony missing Peter, then Peter being unable to connect with Morgan).
> 
> _(*Solace on Sakaar is mostly focused on the friendship, but it's "friends with benefits" so it's Loki/Valkyrie as well. I tend to take the position that those tags are either/or,[not both](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/577825) \-- that if there's sex or romance, it's the slash tag without the & tag -- but in this case it seems most accurate to include both. Like every other entry on this list, it is focused on the nonsexual, to the near-exclusion of the sexual.)_
> 
> The MCU fics I published (or started) include: [Turtles in a Bottle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26085493) (Clint & Bucky, my main BINGO Board project), [A Stray Parrot in Queens](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25644337) (Loki & Peter), [Subverting the Dominance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26177230) (Dom/sub Avengers), [Dust and Ashes and Dreams](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25679749) (Tony & Nebula), and [Somehow I Miss Box Socials](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25990351) (crossdressing Avengers for charity!).
> 
> The POI fics I published include: [Borrowed Accents](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26052901) (female Finch, a followup to [Miss Kittiwake](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15911238/chapters/37089438)), [The Rumor Mill](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25885771) ( _The Journey of Anton O'Mara_ part three), [Feasting on Fealty](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26102239) (a Dark Inversion: forced intimacy with Maculategiraffe's "Daisy"), plus a podfic of [Back Rub](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218138) (fully recorded but only partially posted).
> 
> Alt Fandoms include: [Recettear](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25698268), [Stardew Valley](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822840), [Octodad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26127004), Disney's [Recess](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26212255), and [ElfQuest](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26229733).
> 
> I also posted two pieces of Original Work: [Cleaning Mode](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26213899) (a side story to a project I've been working on for over twenty years) and [Socks and Snowmaids](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25743664) (it's short and cute, go read it).
> 
> So... yeah. Published a ton, kinda all over the place, but I feel like August was a quite productive month there.
> 
> Also, it's [Pepper Month](https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/1699688)! I'd love to see more fics that focus on her, separate from her relationship to a more popular character. I don't think I've got time to create a full fic for her, but one of the chapters of this piece is Coulson & Pepper so maybe that'll go up this month. Here's hoping!


End file.
